"Found"

Kids sometimes think, “If I go to a different school, I’ll get away from my problems.”  “I just need to get away.”  “I just need new friends.”  “I just need…..”

I wrote this when I was a teenager after my dad told me that no matter where I go, I could not get away from myself. 

I fled from something,

Of what I do not know.

New problems it would bring;

It followed me everywhere I would go.

So to a mountain, I fled,

And it was there waiting for me.

Oh, the anguish and the dread,

I thought to get away, so you see.

I thought to go far away,

To a quaint old country land.

But as we docked in the bay,

There it was upon the sand.

I’ll go to a place never found,

And there I’ll finally be free.

All alone on an safe and sound.

But to my great dismay;

As I stepped upon the ground,

It was there waiting that day.

I wanted to scream for I had been found.

I looked a little closer at it before me,

And found that it was a person.

I stared and thought it cannot be!

I was found out and undone,

For that person was me.

I could not get away,

Because that was me!

So that’s why it found the way.

I could not hide,

I could not run.

For you can’t run from pride,

I was the one undone.

Truth is we all need to face ourselves.  We all need to be still and self-examine.  Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” 

Even as adults, we can find ourselves trying to “escape” our problems.  Yet we cannot escape without facing ourselves.  Jeremiah 17:9-10, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?  I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.”  The LORD knows us better than we know ourselves.  He is the one we lean on to help us overcome!

Running away from our problems will not make things better.  I’m so glad that as Christians, we don’t have to depend on ourselves.  We don’t have to be strong, for the LORD is our strength.  We don’t have to pull ourselves up.  We are not alone.  The LORD has us in his hand. 

So if things are overwhelming you and you are feeling alone, have you spent time with JESUS lately.  Remember YOU DON’T HAVE TO FACE YOUR PROBLEMS ALONE!  Jesus is always the answer!  

My Little Bit

2 Kings 4:1-6 - The widow with the little bit of oil....

I have this little Bit

It's all I have this Little Bit

To pour it out

Oh How it would spoil

It's all I have this little Bit

I have been told that I must pore it out

and I will receive all the more.

Oh, how I want to shout!

It's all I have this little bit.

To pour it out would cost me great

Can I not keep it safe this little Bit

Oh what shall be my fate;

It's all I have and no more

I've shut the door expecting no more

then only what is on the floor

So quietly into the vessels I pore

And from this lesson I've been taught

that God can use a little bit

and give more then I could ever wrought

I must give my little Bit!

... When you give your little bit to God, God can use it and give you more then you could ever imagine.

Feathers in the Wind

In the 16th Century, a woman went to her Priest after spreading gossip about people in the town under the guise of truth. Her Priest told her for penance to take a bag of feathers to the bell tower and dump them out. Afterwards, he told her to pick them up. She was in shock! What! She knew she never could pick them all up. The Priest explained that the feathers represented her words that she could never get back. 

And so I wrote this Poem

As I watched the feathers fall,

The wind shifted and blew.

The soft sound of the bird call,

As every last one around me flew.

Thousand of feathers drifted away,

To pick them up! My voice did crack!

Impossible! It would take all day! 

That's when it hit me like a smack!

Like feathers, my words I could not take back

The hurt and pain they had caused.

My words... integrity did lack,

On this I thought and paused. 

What does God want for Christmas 🎄

What does God want for Christmas

This video didn't go to plan. But that's true for many things in life. In the end, it doesn't matter that your kid burped in the video, or played with her tiger. It doesn't matter that in reading you missed a few words. What matters is those little moments. Those moments of teaching Christ to your children. What does God want for Christmas? .... You!

The Ripple Effect > Leaving a Legacy

When I was a teenage, one of my teachers showed us an illustration using a bucket of water and his hand.  He said his hand represents our life as he began to splash in the water. He walked around the room showing each of us the bucket.  I remember the water splashing all around the side of the bucket and even at one point it splashed out by accident and we all laughed.  The teacher not missing a beat continued his illustration, some people make lots of splashes in life and some only make a few.  He pulled out his hand and showed us the ripples.  When you are gone from this world, what ripples will you leave behind?  Will you leave any? The ripples won't last forever, but you never know who you will touch with your life.  Will you leave a legacy behind? 

As I leave this office for the last time, I hope I've left some ripples behind.  "Every day is an opportunity to be a blessing to someone." I pray that will continue to be my motto as I step into this new journey of life. 

To the Berean students: past, present and future, make some splashes and leave those ripples.  "Be a Light" Was the theme my first year at Berean.  "Walking in the Light" is this year's theme.  Coincidence? The LORD has always known my path.  

Let's keep walking in the Light and SHINE! 

Tomorrow...

I wrote this 20 years ago

Tomorrow, What lies in Tomorrow?

Will we be standing all alone facing the foe?

Our lives weigh in the balances of time,

The very essence of peace or of crime

Will on the morrow be made known!

America, your true colors shall be flown.

This once great nation under God was thought forever;

And Tomorrow we will see what is the great endeavor!

A cry goes out to all those who have some moral value still;

Vote!  Oh, moral American! It is your freedom; it is your will!

America, America God shed his grace on thee;

But now I fear His grace we shall no longer see!

Oh, I have heard prayer changes things;

And I believe everlasting peace God brings.

But what of a nation that will not look and repent;

What of a people that heeds not the warnings sent?

Judgment is sure; O Lord please I ask thee to see

That there are some righteous still near to thee.

I am not able to say that I am totally free and blameless;

I have not prayed as I ought; forgive the unfaithfulness.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, What of this day?

Lord, so humbly I come to thee, have thy way.

Forgive my fear of the unknown and my worry;

I've forgotten to seek thee in all of my hurry.

The power of prayer can change the polls;

And the hearts of thy people can pray for souls.

I pray for these men that are for president running;

I pray for them even if they are crafty and cunning.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I've laid all my anxiety and worry down.

I'm looking up to heaven, no longer will I tarry, looking at the ground.

Hope is what I have; it comes directly from my Savior;

Christ, my Lord gives my life an everlasting Fervor.

Hope, I fear is so lost to many;

They do not have joy so plenty.

Please, Lord give me strength to be a blessing to the Lost; 

So I might pray and with your help lead them to the cross.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, O my Lord, what is in Tomorrow?

God hold the keys to Tomorrow, so let there not be any sorrow.

Written November 2000

Rest

Rest (Written for Joycelin)

By Jennifer Tackeberry

September 10, 2018

When the trials come … Rest!

When the heart doesn’t understand… Rest!

Lay all at His feet, no need to retreat!

The LORD is near we shall not Fear.

When the Answer doesn’t come… Rest!

When it’s hard to take a Breath… Rest.

Draw near to His light, for it is good in His sight.

In the arms of the Father, you’ll be safe from the tempter.

When your heart won’t stop pounding… Rest!

When you feel all alone… Rest.

He won’t forsake you, He’ll carry you through!

He won’t let you fall, He’ll give you his all!

So when the answer comes … Rest!

When you don’t understand, Look up dear heart… REST!

(The words in Czech: You are my God, You know my future, no one can take me from Your hands.)

My story

My husband and I were married later on in life. He was 30 and I was 33.  We said "I Do" August 13, 2011. We both decided that we would wait to have our first child.  We wanted to get to know one another as a married couple.  After three years of marriage, I began to go back and forth wanted a baby but then enjoying "us time."   

In January of 2016 after a year of trying, I went forward at church and prayed as Hannah must have prayed.  I prayed that the Lord would give me a child, and that child would be the Lord's.  I ended my prayer with "not my will, but Thine."  Words we hear so often, yet I had no idea their meaning.  I would soon learn what it meant to say "not my will."  

In February of that same year, I began to feel weird.  I can't describe it.  But I knew something was different. I went out and bought a pregnancy test.  My husband and I just stared at the results.  Not being convinced, we went out and bought three more tests.  All had the same results... Pregnant.  I was starting to get excited.  My husband thought it best that we keep the pregnancy to ourselves.  I only told one person... my sister-in-law. 

I didn't have an OB doctor, so I began to search for one.  I found one who I thought would be good for me.  But when I called Her office, I was told that they don't see pregnant ladies until their 10th week.  I was only 6 weeks along at that time.  I made the appointment and began to count the days. 

At 8 weeks, I began to have some spotting.  I called the OB's office.  I was told that, I should be fine but if I'm losing the baby, there was nothing they could do.  I remember going into the bedroom and telling my husband, Ken what they said. He replied "Don't you want God's Will over your will?"  No... no... no... "God, you can't have my baby!"  Not my will... but Thine... Didn't I pray that.  I struggled back and forth with those thoughts.  Trust is so easy when you're not going though the fire.  The spotting only lasted for a day or two.  I could rest. 

On Saturday, April 10th 2016, two days after my 10th week, the spotting started only this time it was more intense.  My appointment with the Dr was on Thursday.  I called them hoping I could get in early.  I was told that I would have to wait or I could go to the ER. They told me all I could do was rest.  I rested all day Sunday.  On Sunday night, I called my boss and told him what was going on.  I stayed home Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  All I call do was rest... and trust the Lord that no matter what He would carry me through.  Wednesday night, my husband came home from work with Popeyes, the best comfort food. He then asked me if I was okay with him going to Master's Club (our children's program at church).  I told him I would be fine.  As soon as he left, however; I was not fine.  I went into the bathroom and collapsed.  I had no strength.  My phone was over on my end table charging.  I crawled to it... climbed on the bed.  All the while praying, I called Ken.  No answer.  He had just started doing the games with the kids.  I called my boss and told him that I needed Ken. 

Ken later told me that my boss came running into the Gym.  The moment Ken saw him, he knew something was wrong.  Ken called me as he was heading to pick me up.  He told me to meet him at the curb.  "Honey, I can't... I need help."  Ken came into the house and helped me get dressed.  He put his strong arm around me and lead me to the suv.  The ride over was excruciating. It felt like it took an eternity to get to the hospital.  I then had to wait in the Er while I was wrenching in pain.  I told Ken to get me some water.  When he came back the person at the reception desk said "she can't have that."  I believe fire came out of my eyes.  I was in pain, waiting and getting mad! It probably took 30 mintues for them to take me back to a room.  I'll never forget when they did the ultrasound and said they couldn't see a baby.  My heart fell.  Pain of the heart.  I don't know how to explain it.  The loss was so excruciating.  I didn't want to believe it.  My sister came in and I lost it.  I started sobbing, "Joey, I lost the baby. I'm not doing this again!"

I had to wait over night to have a dnc... they didnt give me anything to wear.  I literally was laying in filth.  Not only did I have to deal with the loss, I had to deal with feeling so gross.  I had a run in with the night nurse, which I won't get into.  The day nurse came in and was so sweet and helped me.  My sheets were changed and I was given pads.  I then was prepared for surgery.  I remember coming out of surgery feeling so so empty. 

I struggled with depression for several months.  I lost my baby bug on April 14th 2016... and learned that I was pregnant again the first week of August 2016. At first I didn't believe it or get my hopes up. Soon my unbelievable was replaced with being terrified.  Yet I knew the Lord was in charge.  He would take care of me and my baby.  I gave the baby to Jesus, "not my will but yours be done."  Even today as I have a 2 year old.  She belongs to Jesus.  I am blessed to raise her as my daughter but she belongs to the Lord.  I cannot live in fear that He will take her.  I have thos hope that He will take care of her.  And I am blessed. 

I know many struggle with infertility.  I can say for certain that God's plan is the best plan.  From my loss, I was able to get a great OB.  He was on call the night I went into the hospital.  He was so sympathetic.  He and his wife lost their first child.  He told me when I get pregnant again call his office right away, which I did.  He had me do blood work the next day and put me on hormone to be safe because I was on the low end of normal. 

To my sisters in Christ who struggle with infertility, you are on my heart and in my prayers.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

The One We Get Our Power From!

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." - James 1:17

1.  Every good gift - Always giving with a good mind

2.  And every perfect gift - The highest degree of good gifts

3. Is from above - Heaven

4.  And cometh down from the Father of lights - Creator of Lights, Author of Perfection

5.  With whom is no variableness - Always the same, Constant

6.  Neither shadow of turning - without darkness

"With whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

"The phraseology is almost scientific.  There are changes, literally "parallaxes," of the heavenly bodies themselves, and eclipses one of another by shadows projected through space, but no such variableness with God, nor changing of faintest shade." ~ Ellicott's Commentary for English Readers

It's Thursday!  What a week I've had.  This week has been full of learning new things... a new copier... a new way to access a program... etc.  Monday, I spilled my hot drink all over me!  What a mess!  Yesterday, I forgot my password to my computer and locked myself out!!!  What in the world?  I felt so behind and upside down!  I needed power!  Not my own strength, but the Lord's power!  We need power to live, power to go on, power to move forward, power to succeed.... This power is not in ourselves.  I love this phrase "with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."  Our Heavenly Father has this storehouse of power and he lets us tap into that power.  He wants us to use his power.  He doesn't change!  He's not going to say, "you can have my power today but you can't use it tomorrow."  His power doesn't run out; it is available for all of us at any time.  God has this good gift of power.  So throughout today, when things get messy or upside down, let's look to the LORD and use his power to get through.  

Why Me, LORD?

Why Me, LORD?

Sometimes in life, we face difficulties and trials.  Truth is we all have stories of heartache and pain.  Many times we ask God: “Why, Why me Lord?”  Sometimes the only answer we receive from the Lord is simply this: “Just Trust me.”  In our human heart, we cannot understand why God would allow these things to happen to us or to others around us.  The pain that enshrouds our heart seems to choke out any understanding or peace that we so long to have.  The statement “Trust the Lord,” seems to be easy to say but harder to do.  People that say this to us sometimes can make us feel like they have no idea what we are facing.  They could not possibly understand our situation.  God’s grace seems so far and distant.  We can feel alone and rejected.  We just don’t see what the Lord is doing.  If our eyes could be open to the spiritual realm, we would see that God has turned up the furnace of trials in our life to work out the dross that has been building up.  We would see that every time we cry, God gently works on us and cries with us.  God says: “Trust me, dear heart, I have everything under control.”  He hears our distant reply: “No, Lord!  I don’t know what you are doing and the pain is too much for me to bear.”  God has not truly left us; he is ever present with us.  However, we still yell out: “Why me, Lord? ... Why?”

The Lord is in control.  He is the Great Potter molding us into vessels of honor.  He is the Great Gardener pulling out the weeds that don’t belong in our lives.  “What a privilege it is to know that … I am a field under heavenly cultivation ~ not a wilderness but a garden of the Lord, walled by grace, planted according to a divine plan, worked by love, weeded by heavenly discipline, and constantly protected by divine power.”  ~ Charles Spurgeon.  We might think something like this: “Sure this sounds all good and easy, but this thing that I am going through no one understand.”  It’s true that I might not have gone through the trial that you are going through and you might not have gone through the trial that I am going through, but God knows our pain.  He suffers with us.  He bears our burdens.  1 Peter 5:7 states, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”  This means that he takes our pain upon Himself.  He removes it from our heart, and places it on His; and in return He replaces our fears with peace.  Just as a loving father protects his child, so the Lord protects us.  “Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.”  ~ Psalms 42:8.  In times of adversity and heartache, we need to continue to remind ourselves that God is in control and that He loves us and cares for His children.  Remember God always gives us the strength we need when we tap into it.  2 Corinthians 12:9 states: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Practical Application:

Ø  Just Breath

Ø  Take one day at a time

Ø  Lift up your eyes - Remember God prays for you when you don’t have the words.

Ø  Get alone with the Lord, even when you don’t feel like it.

Ø  Keep key verses with you.  Verses like Isaiah 43:2.

Ø  Ask God to use this trial to reach the lost around you.

Ø Don’t quit on God! 

Excellent Spirit - Extreme Success!

For several weeks, I have struggled with writing a poem for our school theme.  I wrote draft upon draft, but still, it didn’t flow.  This morning, as I was driving to work, I thought about Daniel.  Yes, he had an Excellent Spirit and it brought him Extreme Success, but can you imagine the rejection he faced?  His own co-workers plotted to kill him.  They hated him, but he probably loved them and prayed for them. Can you imagine how heavy his heart must have been as he stood before the king and saw the smug faces of his peers? 

In life, we are going to face times of rejection.  We are going to have friends let us down.  We are going to get hurt.  It’s life.  A spouse may let down a spouse, a friend may let down a friend, a brother may let down a brother, a father, a daughter, a sister a brother, a mother, a son… and the list goes on and on.  Daniel set his spirit high, what I mean by that is he purposed that no matter what he faced he would look to the LORD and have a sweet spirit.  He always seemed to rise above what the world threw at him.  He wasn’t dealt a good hand by human perspective.  By the time, Daniel 6 takes place, Daniel is an old man.  His life experiences could have made him bitter, but instead, Daniel 6:3 says, “Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king thought to set him over the whole realm.”  He saw kings come and go, kingdoms rise and fall, through it all his attitude set him above all others.  My friend, you may be feeling rejected or hurt, can I encourage you to purpose to have an excellent spirit through it all?  And may I do the same.

People – they smile and pretend,

They say they’re your friend,

In the end, you’re in the Lion’s den,

Oh, Friend! Hope not in men!

Set your spirit high!

To the LORD draw nigh!

Day by day and Every day the same,

His promises we can claim!

No matter the rejection, no matter the pain.

When all is against you, do not wane!

Be like Daniel, who at his window knelt,

To do what was right, no worry he felt.

His spirit was of sweet Excellence,

And through it all, he had Extreme Success.

Set your spirit high!

To the LORD draw nigh!

Day by day and Every day the same,

His promises we can claim!

No matter the rejection, no matter the pain.

When all is against you, do not wane!

Faithful was he, no matter the accusation.

His spirit was sweet, he had the right foundation.

When all others turned on him,

His Excellent Spirit did not dim!

In that,he had great faithfulness,

Which brought him Extreme Success!

Set your spirit high!

To the LORD draw nigh!

Day by day and Every day the same,

His promises we can claim!

No matter the rejection, no matter the pain.

When all is against you, do not wane!

10 Weeks

10 weeks is all I had with you,

Ten weeks and how my heart is blue.

Saddened that I'll never hold your hand,

Your little feet will never touch the sand.

10 weeks is all you had little one,

And how my heart aches for my daughter or my son.

I miss you little one,

I feel so empty without you, Hun.

I've shed many a tear,

Oh how long to hold you near.

The Lord had a different plan,

One I don't understand.

But I know He loves us both

I'll see you again.

I have this hope.

I love you baby bug.

April 13, 2015

My Times are in His Hand.

Psalms 31:15 "My times are in Thy hand".  The first time I saw this verse was in a room Thousands of miles away from Pennsylvania. ... across the ocean in the Czech republic. .. I had just spent 3 months living in Europe. .. and I wasn't ready to come back home. .. so I was busy trying to change my flight... I did everything in my power to open the doors for me to continue to stay in Prague Czech Republic.    After all I was serving the Lord on a mission field... this had to be God's will for my life.  After realizing that I would not be able to stay... I opened my bible in frustration looking for a "sign" that God would do a miracle and allow me to continue in Prague.    My eyes fell on this verse "My times are in Thy hand"... at that moment I knew I had to stop trying because staying was going against what God had for me.   You see had I stayed in Prague i wouldn't have been where I was most needed.  I thought I was needed most in Prague. .. but I was needed the most at home.  You see after I returned home I learned my older sister had taken a turn for the worst.  She had been fighting kidney disease for years and dialysis had stopped being effective. .. two weeks after i came home she went home to heaven.   When I moved out here to Illinois I knew it was where God wanted me.  I struggled at first because it wasn't home.... but Psalms 3115 has guided me along the way... and now by Gods grace I can call Rockford home and Berean all family.  Never under estimate where God will take you.  Its always better than your will!  So maybe today you are struggling with where you are at in life.  Maybe it's not what you thought it would be or maybe it's not where you want to be.  Just let go of your desires and trust God.  Had I not waited on the Lord's timing, I would not be here.  But here is exactly where I need to be and where I want to be.  The Lord is Amazing and wants to give us His best.  Let go, dear friend and trust Him... the possibilities God has for you are endless!

The day that stood still...

Sometimes in life there are moments... Glints of days that seem to stand still. All around there are people moving, going from place to place, their day continues on..... into another and another. However, for some their day maybe standing still. Unbeknownst to those of us rushing on through life; we look to them nothing but a blur. Inside they feel like screaming... "Stop, stop, slow down! This life is just a vapor... It WILL quickly fade away."

On one such day, I awoke, dressed and headed off to work. Just a normal day in April. Yet my thoughts were filled with heaviness. Would this be the day? A phone call... The truth... Rising to my feet... Trying not to sob... I told what I needed to tell and headed out the door before anymore questions could be throw my way.

I don't know how I got there, but somehow I made it to the school were my siblings were. With our Pastor looking on, I told them the awful truth. While we hugged, we allowed the tears to freely flow.

We retuned home. Sitting in our living room, we talked of memories past. Overwhelmed by grief, out the door I went. The world was spinning, and yet at that moment all was still. The blue sky was fading into dusk, a single star rose into the night. The breeze rippled over the grass, the crickets started to chirp and a whisper echoed in my heart. "It's OK lil' sis... I'm not in anymore pain... I love you. You'll be alright."

Life goes on, yet life has become so precious to me.
It's not worth fighting with your siblings or rushing through a day.
Life will pass quickly enough without us wishing it away.
Cherish every moment, hold your love ones near.
There will come a day when you'll shed a tear.
You'll want to hear their voice just one time more.
Or see their face and hold them to your very core.
So love them today for this life is short you see.

In loving memory of Brandi Jeanne Byerly ... My sister, my friend
Whom I will see again in heaven!

Rocks Revealed

A few days ago, I was thinking of a poem I wrote when I was a teenager.  I wrote it after we had been hiking through Rickets Glenn.  (Best place in Pennsylvania to see waterfalls.)  While walking the path, I had to keep looking at my feet so I didn't trip on the rocks in front of me.  And from that stemmed this poem Rocks Revealed. 

I use to wonder, as most girls do, about who I would marry and where would I live?  And that age old question:  "What would I be when I grew up?"  Now as I am in my thirties (scary thought) I know the answers to those questions.  Yet there is still a lot I do not know.  You know what... the LORD still continues to show me things through "Rocks Revealed."  Dear Friends, may the LORD continue to bless you as you walk on His path and as you see those "Rocks Revealed."

Rocks Revealed

I looked at the top of the hill,

So high it is, yet at the top is Glory.

To get there we must walk God’s will;

The path so full of rocks is our story.

Looking at the ground, near our feet,

We only see a small portion of our path.

In that small portion, many we will meet,

In love and joy, also in anger and wrath.

They all have their own part to play

In His great will that is so near us.

But we must not worry what people say,

We must only care that in God we trust.

One day, we will make it to the top,

For that day is definitely sealed.

Right now, we must never stop,

Looking down at the rocks revealed.

   (Original verse by Jennifer Byerly)

My Expectation Is From Him

"My expectation is from Him."—Psalm 62:5.

It is the believer's privilege to use this language. If he is looking for aught from the world, it is a poor "expectation" indeed. But if he looks to God for the supply of his wants, whether in temporal or spiritual blessings, his expectation" will not be a vain one. Constantly he may draw from the bank of faith, and get his need supplied out of the riches of God's lovingkindness. This I know, I had rather have God for my banker than all the Rothschilds. My Lord never fails to honour His promises; and when we bring them to His throne, He never sends them back unanswered. Therefore I will wait only at His door, for He ever opens it with the hand of munificent grace. At this hour I will try Him anew. But we have "expectations" beyond this life. We shall die soon; and then our "expectation is from Him." Do we not expect that when we lie upon the bed of sickness He will send angels to carry us to His bosom? We believe that when the pulse is faint, and the heart heaves heavily, some angelic messenger shall stand and look with loving eyes upon us, and whisper, "Sister spirit, come away!" As we approach the heavenly gate, we expect to hear the welcome invitation, "Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world." We are expecting harps of gold and crowns of glory; we are hoping soon to be amongst the multitude of shining ones before the throne; we are looking forward and longing for the time when we shall be like our glorious Lord—for "We shall see Him as He is." Then if these be thine "expectations," O my soul, live for God; live with the desire and resolve to glorify Him from whom cometh all thy supplies, and of whose grace in thy election, redemption, and calling, it is that thou hast any "expectation" of coming glory. - Spurgeon's Morning and Evening

Sometimes, in life we get so bogged down with the cares of this world. At work, we might find ourselves acting like the lost world. The printers go out, the vending machine breaks, the computer keeps shutting down, people around you are miserable... and you find yourself being miserable right along with them. You’re in a funk and you don't know why. Our Expectation needs to be from the LORD. He has given us so much! We can have his Joy.

A few years ago, I went to a seminar called "How to communicate with tough people." Basically the class was a pep talk where the speaker's job was to pump us up so we can go out and face all those "horrible" people out there. He taught us to “Fake It Till We Make It.” At one point in the talk he said something that opened my eyes. He said, “When things get really bad and you think you can’t fake it, then I want you to think of the happiest moment in your life. Whether it is when you got married or held your baby in your arms… I want you to hold on to that memory. And when things are tough, just bring that memory back to mind. And that will help you get through the tough situations of life.” While I was listening to him say this, I heard a still small voice saying “Jen, I am your strength. Don’t you see, these people don’t have that, they can’t cling to me like you can.” Then my heart broke for those people sitting there. The speaker that was still talking about how you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself you can do it. He went on saying that no one else is going to pull you up by your boot straps only you can do that. “The joy of the Lord is my strength,” echoed in my heart. That course was an eye opener, oh not because the speaker said anything helpful, but rather it showed me just how much I take for granted. As Christians, we have this awesome power from the Lord. Why don’t I realize that I have all God’s resources at my fingertips! Oh, Dear Christian Friend, our expectation is from the LORD. Expect the Lord to keep His promises. And as Charles Spurgeon wisely said: “O my soul, live for God; live with the desire and resolve to glorify Him from whom cometh all thy supplies, and of whose grace in thy election, redemption, and calling, it is that thou hast any "expectation" of coming glory.”

"Who's on First"

Once in a while you might hear in a movie a reference about “Who’s on First.” In case you didn’t know… “Who’s on First” is an Abbott and Costello comedy routine that was first performed in 1938 for a national radio audience. It is said that the routine was not scripted; Abbott and Costello made it up as they went. Over the years Abbott and Costello performed “Who’s on First?” numerous times during their carreer, rarely performing it the same way twice. They even did the routine for President Franklin Roosevelt.

Who's On First Script (for a good laugh)


The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:

• First Base: Who

• Second Base: What

• Third Base: I Don't Know

• Left field: Why

• Center field: Because

• Pitcher: Tomorrow

• Catcher: Today

• Shortstop: I Don't Care

The name of the shortstop is not given until the very end of the routine, and the right fielder is never identified. In the Selchow and Righter board game, the right fielder's name is "Nobody".[5]

At one point in the routine, Costello thinks that Naturally is the first baseman:

Abbott: You throw the ball to first base.

Costello: Then who gets it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: Now you've got it.

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: Well, that's it—say it that way.

Costello: That's what I said.

Abbott: You did not.

Costello: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.

Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who!

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott's explanations leave Costello hopelessly confused and infuriated, until the end of the routine when Costello finally appears to catch on.

Costello: Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow—a triple play.

Abbott: Yeah, it could be.

Costello: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third, and I don't care!

Abbott: What was that?

Costello: I said, I DON'T CARE!

Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop!

Remembering an Old Friend

Yesterday, a dear old friend went to be home with the LORD. He was my dad’s best friend. He and my dad had the most interesting relationship. They were like an old married couple. When Dale was cold, dad was hot. When Dale was hot, dad was cold. I can remember them fighting over the windows in the car. One wanted them up and the other wanted them down. People often joked with them about how long they had been married.

Dale was an old family friend. As my brother said “he knew us before we were born.” One of my first memories of Dale is when he sold us the old bus converted into a RV. Our family spent many summer days in that old bus. When I think back I remember Dale was often in our lives when we were children. Later, we would work together at Rescom. The days he came into the office just made my day. I would leave the upper floor office and come down to the coffee room and listen to him and Don share hilarious stories.

After Rescom closed, Dale moved away to Florida. We visited him a few times while we were in Florida. He then moved to Missouri. It was here were my fondest memories of Dale were formed. I never realized that Dale had so much “farmer” in him. I say “farmer” when I really should say Dale “Doolittle”. He talked to them all! From chickens, goats, horses and dogs, Dale formed a “love” for each. The days when he wasn’t so much a farmer, were those days when he would put the goats being sold into the truck. On one such day, he had the goats in the back of the truck and they were meehing loudly. Dale looked at the back of the truck and said, “You can’t say I didn’t give you a good life.” He then looked at me and said “I hate this part.”

Dale, you will be missed. Thank you for the times you let me crash at your house on my way home. Thank you for being a really good friend to my dad. We all love you Dale LeClare. We will see you soon!

My Savior's Love

The Start of Valentine’s Day... Tradition tells us that Valentine was a Christian doctor who went about doing good deeds wherever he could. Valentine became a good friend and helper to the Christians, who were being persecuted by the Roman Empire. It is believed that the doctor was eventually put in prison because of his loyalty to his fellow Christians. He was beheaded on February 14. Christians began to observe Valentine’s Day in honor of the good Doctor who died because he was a Christian.

Valentine’s Day in our time… is full of hearts, chocolates, flowers, etc. As a single gal I hated this holiday, as a florist I really hated this holiday! As a married gal, it is fun to reflect on the Love I have for the Man God has given me. I know when your single, Valentine’s Day is yet just another reminder that you are single. But I think that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a day that you need to duck and hide until it passes. Remember, “This is the day which the LORD hath made we will be glad and rejoice in it.” Psalms 118:24. It doesn’t matter what your status is, you can still reflect on the LOVE you have in your life. So many people love us! But most of all we have a Savior that LOVES US! Just think of it! God loves us! We hear it so often that I really think we forget the awe of it! So this Valentine's Day reflect on this thought: "Almighty God loves me!"

Love saw a guilt of sin, and sought a basis of pardon.

Love saw the defilement of sin, and sought a way of cleansing.

Love saw the condemnation of sin, and sought a method of justification.

Love saw the death of sin, and sought a way of life.

Love sought – Love found! ~ Author Unknown

“I love Thee, my Savior, I love Thee, My Lord; I love Thee, my Savior, I love Thee, my God: I Love Thee, I love Thee, and that Thou dost know; but how much I love Thee my actions will show.”

~ An American Folk Hymn

Chapter Seven: God’s Higher Calling - In the Midst of Doubts and Fears

“And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” ~ Matthew 14:31 Darkness and fears over took me. I was overwhelmed and could not look up. The shadows of death surrounded my heart. Wisdom faded from view and I could not trust my own thoughts. Discouragement cut into my heart like a knife and joy escaped me. The terrors of the night seized my heart. I found no peace. My prayers seemed far from me and God was not in all my thoughts. Have these thoughts ever penetrated into your heart? If so, you are not alone in your fears and doubts. There are others that faced the same thoughts. I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. ~ Psalms 6:6. The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts. ~ Psalms 10:4. In the LORD put I my trust: how say ye to my soul, Flee as a bird to your mountain? ~ Psalms 11:1. The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me. ~ Psalms 18:5. For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. ~ Psalms 18:28. O my God, I cry in the day time, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent. ~ Psalms 22:2. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah. ~ Psalms 32:4. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. ~ Psalms 38:4. For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me. ~ Psalms 40:12. Though thou hast sore broken us in the place of dragons, and covered us with the shadow of death. ~ Psalms 44:19. My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me. ~ Psalms 55:3-4. In Pilgrim’s Progress, Pilgrim finds himself in Doubting Castle held prisoner by Giant Despair. He sinks down in despair unable to overcome the overwhelming thoughts of failure. Our ignorance of our sin leads us to just shut down and not deal with the root of the problem. At first, we might think we can deal with the doubts on our own. We may have the attitude that no one needs to know of our doubting. But in the darkness of our little home, the darkness will over take us. When we get this way we are now a person struggling with depression or anxiety. When we realize that we need help then we should sit down with only one or two precious godly friends and share with them what we are facing. A lot of times indifference can lead to an unmovable heart. When the LORD stops working in our lives we need to realize that something is wrong. If we don’t see that we’ve come to a wall in our spiritual walk and we are truly saved, we will become flooded by doubts. The Word of God talks about our heart being deceitful and the only one who can know our heart is God. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” ~ Jeremiah 17:9. God wants to change our lives and cause us to see our lives through His eyes. We are told to examine ourselves in 2 Corinthians 13:5. “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” Here are some tips that will help us get out of a depressive state. First, we needed to play good godly music. Secondly, we need to play messages of Good Godly preachers. “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” ~ John 17:17. Thirdly, we need to recognize that getting consumed with doubt is giving place to the devil. “Neither give place to the devil.” ~ Ephesians 4:27. Fourth, understand that we cannot force ourselves into some spiritual place of victory. We shouldn’t try to fix it or we’ll miss out on what the LORD is trying to teach us! There will be times when we cannot get victory over our thoughts and we may even doubt our salvation. Don’t just give in and let the thoughts have free course. We may hate them but if we don’t deal with them they will overtake us. When we do not deal with thoughts, we are letting iniquity take over. And it ends up being like a never ending vicious cycle. That will continue to drain us. Our thoughts even if they seem right and good are not necessarily God’s thoughts. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11. Our mind is not programmed to think like God. God wants to teach us and He uses the fiery trails to break us. It is when we are broken He then can begin working in our lives. “But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.” ~ Isaiah 64:8. Someone once wisely said, “Sow a thought - reap a habit; sow a habit - reap a destiny.” Our minds are programmed when we are born with a sin nature. And we can’t just delete the program and reinstall a new one. But yet God, who knows our thoughts and our heart, can begin to root out those thoughts and replace them with right thinking. Right thinking comes only by the Word of God. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:” ~ 2 Timothy 3:16. Habitual thoughts will flash in the back of our minds without even our thinking on them. We may try to conduct our lives as though everything is alright. But the instability of our lives will cause those doubts to seep through. The first thing that one can notice on a person who is deeply troubled will be their countenance. “Wherefore the king said unto me, Why is thy countenance sad, seeing thou art not sick? this is nothing else but sorrow of heart.” ~ Nehemiah 2:2. We may try to hide our struggles but within weeks the darkness will be so thick that we won’t be able to see a glimpse of sunshine from God’s Word. Don’t turn everything off thinking that is the answer. There will be things that we need to turn off, but there is also going to be things we need to turn on. Turning off the television is a very good idea but sitting in total silence when your mind won’t shut off is not helpful. Ever try to hear from the LORD but can’t get past the walls. When this happens we need to call upon the LORD even when we don’t think our prayers are getting through. Our spiritual immaturity and thinking we know it all will keep us from hearing from the LORD. When we constantly come to the LORD having the attitude “Oh I know that, LORD,” the LORD isn’t going to work in our life because we aren’t opening to hearing from him. “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” ~ Romans 1:21. When we long to hear from him He will give us light. “Thou hast made us for Thyself O LORD; and our Heart is Restless until it rests on Thee.” “Blessed is the man that maketh the LORD his trust.” ~ Psalms 40:4. Romans 8 is an excellent chapter read when going through depression or doubt. God always wants to use doubts to teach us some very powerful lessons. One of those lessons is humility. Ask yourself when is the last time you thought of the cross and fell to your knees in gratefulness? Ever think of being in the presence of Jesus, what is your reaction when you think of that moment? Do you fall on your knees in tears, or do you have the attitude “that’s nice” and your heart remains untouched. When you humble yourself Christ will meet you. The doubts might yell out to you but look up! Christ will settle those doubts. Just as Salvation is of God and only God does the saving; So Victory is of God and only God gets the Victory through our lives. Claim the promises of God! “Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” ~ 1 Peter 1:5. “The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:” ~ Romans 8:16. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9. Dear friend, I hope this is an encouragement to you. Maybe, you are facing depression. Please know you are not alone. Maybe, though you have never faced depression, you now have a better understanding of how to be an encouragement to those who are. Depression is a real thing. God wants to use it for His good. The Devil wants to use it to destroy the hurting. Please don’t criticize someone facing depression, that doesn’t help the person but rather just makes things so much worse. And for those of you who maybe facing doubts and fears remember you have a good God who wants good things for you. During my depression, God in His mercy and faithfulness began to give me the glimpses of rays of light through His Word. I came across the quote “Thou hast made us for Thyself O LORD; and our Heart is Restless until it rests on Thee.” Psalms 40:4 became so precious to me. “Blessed is the man that maketh the LORD his trust.” God continued to bring Romans 8 into my life time and time again. God was trying to teach me some very powerful lessons. One of those lessons came when I was watching a video clip of the end of Pilgrim’s progress. When Pilgrim is presented to Jesus, I found myself over whelmed and began to sob. I fell on my knees, in bitter anguish knowing the LORD had stepped into my home. I did not deserve His love and tenderness. Yet Christ loves me anyway. He is the one that did the saving when I received Him. I did nothing but come to Him. I kept asking myself “Why am I saved?” Thinking to myself: “Did I have repentance, and did I have faith. I never said I trust you LORD… does that mean I’m lost?” All these thoughts and more flooded in my aching heart. But I was reminded that all I did was come to Christ and pour out my heart fully believing that if I called on Him, He would indeed save me. So now some years later, I found myself trying to have Victory on my own. But just as Salvation is of God and only God does the saving; So Victory is of God and only God gets the Victory through our lives. I had this burning desire to get closer to the LORD, but each time I tried I was hindered. The more I tried the more I felt like I was running into a brick wall. My sinful self kept getting in the way. I did not fully understand what was happening. But then everything seemed to come together. Here I was in this Doubting Castle, and all I had to do was start pulling out the promises of God. I began to claim these verses and many like them. Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ~ 1 Peter 1:5. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: ~ Romans 8:16. Trusting God always seemed to be my down fall. God was testing me to see if I would trust Him even when the clouds where the darkest. I failed miserably. But the LORD in all His love and faithfulness kept chiseling out the dross in my life. No sooner was I out from underneath the darkness and another trial hit me hard. Did I look up right away? Of course not! I found myself angry and bitter. Hate flooded my heart and not love! Again I had to fall down on my knees and get lovely rebuked by my Father. I had to pray for God’s love to fill my heart. A wise friend sweetly told me that I failed to trust the LORD and to watch out because until I get it right another trial is around the corner. So another trial did come but this time I caught myself and looked up. God’s not done testing me. I keep thinking of the picture of God being the Master Potter. He Longs to mold me into a vessel of Honor. It hurts to be put through the fire and the waters that cool the clay are at times over whelming and seem too hard for us to bear. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9.