My Testimony

I grew up in a Religious home but there came a point in my life when though I was religious I realized that my life was not any different from anyone else. My first year out of my “religious bubble” is when I went from a Christian School to a public school. We had moved from New Jersey to Pennsylvania. Since we did not know of any Baptist Church in the area, we were out of Church for a year. During my Seventh grade year, I found myself making fun of others who said they were a Christian. I started doing the things I had been taught that were wrong. I had no conviction or guilt over the things I did. What good was my religion if I had no change in my heart? My parents realized that my brother and I were not acting as we should. We both started cursing and though we hid it, there were times when we would slip and curse around our parents. My mother began looking for a Baptist Church for us to attend. She came across a sign for a Baptist church which also had a school. We began attending church services regularly and my siblings and I were enrolled into the school. I was again able to “blend” in. But something seemed to be missing. I made a mental check list of all things I needed to do as a Christian. I was doing all those things on my list but still there seemed to be emptiness in my heart. There came a point when I realized what was missing. I had gone to church all of my life and yet there was a vital ingredient missing. Being a good person, going to church and even being a “Baptist” was not enough to fill the emptiness in my heart. My problem wasn’t with the things I did or didn’t do. My problem was with my heart. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” ~ Jeremiah chapter 17, verses 9 & 10. In the Word of God we are told that God puts it in every heart to know God. God wants a personal relationship with each one of us. But our sin causes a breech between God and ourselves. When I was eight, I knew I needed to be saved. (Note: “saved” and “salvation” are Biblical terms referring to the forgiveness of sins by God and the rescue of a person from the power and penalty of that sin. This is God’s requirement for everlasting life.) On Sunday, February 24, 1986, I was sitting in my Sunday school class and I wanted to be saved. So I was taken in the back room with a handful of kids. Someone prayed over me. I went away believing that I was saved. However I wasn’t. My life was empty. Empty means containing nothing; having none of the usual or appropriate contents. My so called Salvation testimony did not have any of the appropriate ingredients. For a person to be truly saved, they must have brokenness over their sin. I had never realized the greatness of my sin. If I was the only person on this earth, Christ still would have come and died for ME! My sin put Christ on the cross! “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” ~ Psalms chapter 51, verse 17. On October Twenty-ninth 1992, I yielded my life to God. I went into my room and tried to sleep, but could not! My heart was so heavy. I finally admitted that I was not saved and that I indeed was lost. I began to think of what Christ went through for me, and realized He did all these things so I could be saved. All those “good things” I had been doing were nothing but filthy rags. My little check list meant nothing to God. My being a good person meant nothing. I was a good person destined to spend an eternity separated from God in Hell. “But we are all as a unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags.” ~ Isaiah chapter 64, verse 6. In Bible days, a filthy rag was hung on a post outside the gate of the city. A leper then would use that rag. He would take the rag and wipe away his puss, and hang the rag backup on the post for someone else to use. If that is what my righteousness or good works looked like, how did God see my wickedness? “For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.” ~ Romans chapter 5, verse 10. I was an enemy of God. My sin caused a great gulf between myself and God, and my good works could not bridge the gap. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” ~ Romans chapter 3, verse 23. And the ONLY thing that could save me was the Christ’s death on the Cross! Before this His death held no value to me. It was just something I knew HE had done but it never meant anything to me. I NOW wanted God and I was ready to give Him everything… every area of my life I turned over to Him. I finally could not pray anymore. All I could do was look up and trust. It finally became clear; I had not been placing my trust in God. I had been asking God to save me and forgive me, but at the same time I was trying to think of everything that I had to do. Again I was using a mental check list, and this is not how God wanted me to come to Him. Finally, I saw Salvation as a gift, and not something I had to work to receive. “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” ~ Romans chapter 6 verse 23. I had been making Salvation very hard, when it is really quite easy. Once I stepped out by faith, and admitted that I was lost, I then had godly sorrow over my sin. “For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” ~ 2 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 1. When I finally saw myself as God saw me, then all I needed to do was trust. “That if though shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” ~ Romans chapter 10, verses 9 & 10. After I had stopped praying, I looked up to the ceiling and I knew that the LORD had saved me. A peace rested in my soul. My prayer was not a perfect prayer, but my heart attitude was the one God required… a broken contrite heart willing to yield everything to Christ. Since that day I have had a personal relationship with God. I can talk to Him daily and hear from Him through His Word. I do not have emptiness in my heart, but rather my heart is full with Peace. I now want to do things that please the LORD and not because someone tells me to do them. “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” ~ 1 John chapter 5, verse 3. I have personal convictions which I never had before I received Christ. I am so very glad the LORD saved my soul!!!